I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
