Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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