Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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