I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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