So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I have demons in me.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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