dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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