Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
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