I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
