Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
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He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
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I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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