Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
