Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
