Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
He? As in you personified your dick?
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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