What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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