I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
