two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
