no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
