What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
