I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
