I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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