i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize
