Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Green mimosas i think yes
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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