so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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