But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
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