This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Couch. On fire.
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