I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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