Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
