that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Randomize
