You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
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