I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
