You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
i've created a new STD.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
