He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
