capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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