you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Randomize
