That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
