I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
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