when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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