He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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