dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize