I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize