I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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