Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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