do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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