I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Text me some of your sweat
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
