I wanna bring you to show and tell
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize
