Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
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