So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
