he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
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