Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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