this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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