I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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