Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
