The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
