so explain again why im purple
no
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I can't trust your balls anymore.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
