i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I just found a bag of teeth...
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
