the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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