I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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