Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
