There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Randomize
