You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
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