he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
