I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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