I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
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