I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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