you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
