He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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