the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
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We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
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My legs feel like baby dolphins
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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